60 Examples of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-aggressive behaviors are actions with negative intent that are positioned in such a way that they are technically not negative or inappropriate. By not breaking any rules, an individual may attempt to be negative without facing repercussions such as conflict or punishment. Passive-aggressive behaviors can be difficult to detect due to their passive nature. The following behaviors can be passive-aggressive if they have aggressive and negative intent behind them.

Avoiding Someone

Avoiding a Conversation

Backhanded Compliments

Changing The Subject

Cold Shoulder

Complaining

Criticizing

Deflecting

Deliberate Mistakes

Deliberate Procrastination

Denial Of Feelings

Denying Problems

Disengagement

Disparaging Humor

Embarrassing Others

Emotional Blackmail

Evasiveness

Eye-rolling

Fake Politeness

False Humility

False Positivity

Feigned Ignorance

Gaming The System

Gaslighting

Ghosting

Guilt-tripping

Hidden Resentment

Holding Grudges

Ignoring

Insincere Difference

Insincere Praise

Insincerity

Making Excuses

Malicious Compliance

Mind Games

Minimizing

Misleading

Mocking

Negative Body Language

Negative Facial Expressions

Nitpicking

Noncommittal Answers

One-upmanship

Over-apologizing

Passive Resistance

Playing Dumb

Playing The Victim

Pouting

Pretending To Agree

Sarcasm

Setting Up To Fail

Sidelining

Silent Treatment

Snarkiness

Social Undermining

Spreading Rumors

Subtle Insults

Subtle Sabotage

Underhanded Remarks

Undermining

Veiled Criticism

Whining

Withholding Affection

Withholding Communication

Withholding Information

Withholding Support

Similar Behaviors

Passive-aggressive behavior requires hidden negative intent. For example, if someone is disinterested and expressly doesn't want to talk to you, this isn't passive aggressive but rather genuine disinterest. The following behaviors are commonly misinterpreted as passive-aggressive.

Avoidance

Awkwardness

Constructive Criticism

Disinterest

Forgetfulness

Honest Mistakes

Humor

Introverted Behavior

Lack Of Enthusiasm

Low Energy

Miscommunication

Misunderstood Intentions

Nervousness

Nonconfrontational Behavior

Passiveness

Poor Communication

Quiet Reflection

Reserved Behavior

Self-doubt

Shyness

Stress

Tiredness

Unintended Insults

Wit

Opposites

Passive-aggressive behavior is aggressive and negative but in a secretive or indirect way. The opposite of this behavior is to be open and direct in your communication including in conflict situations. Obviously, friendly and cooperative behaviors are also opposites of passive-aggression.

Assertiveness

Candor

Collaboration

Conflict Resolution

Cooperation

Diplomacy

Direct Communication

Direct Feedback

Emotional Transparency

Forgiveness

Honest Expression

Mutual Respect

Open Communication

Respectful Disagreement

Self-Advocacy

Sincerity

Handling

The primary way to handle passive-aggressive behavior is to be direct, assertive and candid in communication. Avoid trying to change the other person but rather learn to call them on their passive hostility. In some cases, it makes sense to sideline someone who is hostile toward you whether this hostility is passive or not.

Assertive Communication

Conflict Resolution

Difficult Conversations

Direct Communication

Open Dialogue

Sidelining

How to Identify

Although passive-aggressive behavior is extraordinarily common, it is also notoriously difficult to identify. People may demonstrate many of the behaviors above without any negative intent whatsoever. For example, a person who gossips simply because of their carefree and curious nature without any negative intent behind it. This may still be a bad habit in ways but isn't passive-aggressive. As such, you really have to see that someone has some type of negative intent before you can verify they are being passive-aggressive.

Power & Passive-Aggression

Passive-aggressive behavior doesn't typically come from a position of strength whereby people adopt it in situations where they feel downtrodden and relatively powerless. For example, if an individual feels much stress in their job but fears that expressing their disagreement or dissatisfaction will get them in trouble.

Culture & Passive-Aggression

People can be pushed towards passive-aggressive behavior in rigid cultures when they are expected to follow direction, rules, policies and procedures without question or input. For example, in a command-and-control organizational culture where people must follow orders without question. The term passive-aggressive originates with WWII-era studies in the American military that found that some soldiers resist orders passively with techniques such as doing a poor job.

Summary

Passive-aggressive behavior is hostility or dissent that is not openly expressed by is rather indirect or secretive. This can be difficult to detect and is commonly confused with unrelated behaviors such as unintended insults. However, once you identify it correctly, it can be managed with direct communication that calls out the behavior.

passive aggressive overview and examples